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| "Really? Does God really see my missing birth history?" |
Thank you for the wonderful discussion going on about anger.
Yes, there certainly is a lot of adoptee anger regarding missing birth family history for many adoptees.
May I insert something here, in the midst of our discussion. We need to keep our balance, right?
I want to tell you about a craftsman who lived centuries ago who did wood carvings for the Cistine Chapel. He was a l-o-n-g way up--even to make most of us queasy.
One day, a man was visiting the Chapel and was intrigued by the craftsman's work. When he got close enough, he could see that the artisan was carving a bird in one of the huge pillars.
"Why are you carving a bird?" the observer asked. "No one can see it!"
The craftsman's response was simple yet profound. "But God sees."
The same can be applied to we adoptees and missing history. We may never know this side of heaven what our birth history is, who are birth parents are, or why we were placed for adoption. Apart from a miracle, I will never know my birth father, for my birth mother took that knowledge to her grave.
BUT GOD KNOWS, fellow adoptee! The God who formed you in your birth mother's womb knows your complete history. The God who planned every day of your life before any one of them came to be, cares for you in a way that no parent ever could. The God who calls you by name knows the pain of not knowing.
I'm not trying to slap a pious phrase on the pain. I'm trying to get us to look upward. Right--no one you can find on this earth knows your birth history. You may have searched your heart out with no results. You may feel abandoned and depressed.
What answer would God give us? "I KNOW, I SEE, I AM HERE FOR YOU."
Selah...ponder this, my dear fellow adoptees and adoptive parents....
GOD SEES when we can't. We can trust Him.
Your thoughts?
Love to all of you wonderful friends,
Sherrie
Thank you for a beautiful post, Sherrie. I hope one day that will be enough for my sweet daughter as we may never find her birth father either.
ReplyDeleteKimberly,
DeleteAdopted or not, it is the only answer for any of us.
Love,
Sherrie
Great post Sherrie I agree......there are or may be so many gaps for each of us......and the not knowing can drive one to distraction or make the a parents feel very inadequate as they wonder if we will ever be ok without the history.....but coming to know the truths about how God sees us, and what he wants us to know about all this has become and is becoming the rock on which I stand.......his view is becoming the more influence in my life than any other......people have helped me to step upon that rock time and time again.......thank you. It's learning how to weave its truths into us isn't it.
ReplyDeleteI hope for you too Kimberley that your daughter will find her way to those truths too, for it can hold us in the storms of our unknowns when nothing else or no one else can.....
Shefalie
I think anger is such a pent up ugly for many of us when we get the permission so to speak to let it out, out it comes!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great forum where we can speak openly about our raw hurts, fears and victories regarding our adopted self. We usually have no other place to voice those things because no one else understands. In all honesty though, I know most all of us live very successful and balanced lives. So I would never want to scare anyone, especially adoptee parents! I am an adoptee but being an adoptee is just a part of who I am it does not define me. I think most of us would say the same thing.
Part of the piece I wrote on my ugly was "How can I heal from wounds I cannot see, wounds I cannot remember? You tell me that You can remember." Sherrie, you are right, God knows all of our histories and for some reason way beyond our understanding made our histories just the way they are for a reason. Maybe it is to bring us running back to Him because we have no answers. Maybe we are to never understand why.
I would love more information about where I came from, but for some reason have never had a fire inside me to put more effort into a search. There has always been a voice inside me saying "your answers are not in another person". I know that is the voice of God and my answers and peace will only come from Him. I really feel ok not finding my birth family. My real mom and dad were so wonderful anyone else would only have been an answer to why I look the way I do. It's just information. And yes, my real mom and dad were my adopted mom and dad...and then there's my Daddy God.
Deb
Deb,
ReplyDeleteThe way I have found great peace is realizing and embracing the fact that God was the One who created me. I was conceived at conception, nor on my birthday,nor on adoption day. I was conceived by God the Father in eternity past.
Because I was an unplanned, unwanted baby whose mother wanted more than anything to abort her, I know that I am here soley for God's purposes and pleasure. I am His idea.
Love you,
Sherrie
I am an amother and Deb, thank you for your encouragement to us. Sometimes it is scary and we do feel inadequate to help our children, no matter how much we want to. Thank you for encouraging us.
ReplyDeleteI find in my own personal life of many unanswered questions, though different from adoptees that I rest in knowing that my God knows the answeres to the questions in my life. He wants the best for me, has my best interest at heart and maybe not knowing is the best for me because only He knows if finding the answers will help or hurt me. It took me a long time to be ok with that thought, but is is a resting place for me with my unanswered questions for my life.
Again, thank you all for being willing to share.